downtown shananogans

My first reaction to a bad smell is always to look around and find the source so I can avoid it at all costs. Any absurd odor triggers something in my brain causing me to frantically search for whatever is emitting such fowl things into the air. I suppose it's a sort of primal self-preserving instinct i have to make sure my nose does not get filled with tiny yuk particles. My friends always tell me that whenever I smell a fart, that tiny poop particles are filling my nose. I try not to think about that.

Today the gaseous demons possessing me came from yark on the sidewalk. Uh-oh! Not yark on the sidewalk! Right next to a garbage can too. Encounters like this spur a few questions to come to my brain: "how long has this been here?" "does the city have any sort of seek and destroy system for this sort of thing?" "That poor dog!" Unfortunately, it looked like it had been steeping there for a while. I wondered again about the 'seek and destroy' system and how I might go about informing someone about taking care of this. What number would I call? Who would I talk to? Would they accuse me of dealing it because of smelling it? At this point, I had walked much past the yark and had no intentions of following up on it. "maybe birds will eat it" I thought to myself, justifying my ignoring the matter. Just then, my thought was disturbed by three elderly standing at a crosswalk accusing one slightly younger woman of jay-walking. "you're going to jail!" they jested.