Wesley's life-changing decision

Some people have told me that I have small ears. I don't know if that's true, I mean, I've never compared with anyone or measured them. But, maybe they're right, maybe I do have small ears. After all, I can only use a few types of ear buds; the rest fall out. So, I went to work out today, as I usually do. Actually, I don't normally run on the treadmill when it's so nice outside, but I need to fulfill my quota of gym visits so I can get some money from my insurance. cha-ching. Anyway, the issue with the earbuds came into play once more. I was in the locker room at the gym, just about ready to hit the 'mill, as I call it (but, I don't really call it that), when I realized that all I had in my gym bag was my ear buds. They stay in my ears fine, but when I start moving around, all hope is lost. I usually take my headphones when I run, but evidently, I didn't think that far ahead in my life. Anyway, halfway to the treadmill, I thought, why not try it one more time, after all, it works for those people over there. Plus, I'd get bored running for half an hour with nothing to listen to. So, I wore them and embarked on my run. Good thing I decided on the ear buds because there was some pretty awesome, life-changing, stuff on TV that day. First, I watched the tail end of "Family Feud," which in my opinion is always life-changing (except, I did horrible on fast money that day. I blame it on my blood flow). I only caught the tail end of Family Feud, but after that I watched a special episode of Oprah. Now you're thinking, "oh my gosh, I thought only middle-aged women watched Oprah." Not true, especially when there is a lady on the show who got her face shot off with a shotgun! And then got a face transplant surgery! Holy cow. Did anyone else see this? I guess there was a mermaid girl on the show too, but my time had reached it's limit and I slothed off of fitness machine to stretch; a new person, with a new hope in new possibilities of medical science. Who knows what could be next. Maybe I could get those cybernetic legs I've always wanted. I could be like Will Smith in "I Robot." If robots attacked, I could just kick them with my cybernetic legs right in their cold metal faces, if there was a face to speak of. Look out robots.