My victorious Black Friday experience

Today was my first time ever participating in an American ritual known to all as Black Friday. I capitalize it because I'm not sure if it's a holiday or not. People seem to talk about it like it is. Never-the-less, I was nervous and excited for what was about to take place. I even remember hearing old folk legends of people being trampled and shot on this very infamous day. I suppose all this hype makes it feel dangerous to go out there and shop for the best deals on flat screen TV's and laptop computers. Of course I came ready with a parka and my best right hook for whatever was about to happen. First objective: obtain awesome computer for Rick, my boss (he's in Barbados and can't be here to buy the computer for himself). My online search the for said computer led me to the front door of the local Radio Shack; great deal. Doors open at 5:30AM. On the very morning of the sale, I wake up at 4:30 and scurry down there. Adrenaline pumping. The excitement of the hunt overcomes all drowsiness. I arrive at the store and wait on the cold damp sidewalk in front of the dimly lit entrance (behind four individuals who were also desperate for the same computer I was). It feels colder and colder. The man who came shortly after me seemed to have a walkie talkie conversation going on with his wife. Apparently he had been unsuccessful at Wal-Mart and was looking to redeem himself at Radio Shack. It had been about half an hour and the manager timidly poked out the entrance. He regretfully explained that the store only had one laptop for sale that morning. One?! Are you kidding me?! (I actually said this out loud as he bore the bad news. Not like typing "lol" and not actually laughing; this is an accurate quote) Anyway, I shook the dust of Radio Shack off me feet and kept going. Confused on where to go really. I needed a laptop and all the other stores I knew of were sold out.

Down on my luck, I drove over to Fred Meyer's. They had a half off sock sale (it was their big selling point for Black Friday). I partook successfully and not without obtaining some complimentary donuts and apple juice they provided for the customers. Sort of minor excitement compared to what was really going on out there. The pushing and shoving; always looking over your shoulder suspecting everyone. I wanted to be part of it.

My last stop was Old Navy. On the way there, I passed by Office Max (or Office Depot or something like that). Lights were on acting as a beacon, drawing me in. People were waiting in the parking lot for something. Could this be the place? Curious, I check out the front door. Sure enough, they open at 7AM. One more chance, I thought to myself. It was 5:30 then, so taking a risk, I jogged over to the Old Navy about three parking lots down, got an awesome shirt (they only had one of my size left; score!), and headed as fast as I could back to Office place. To my luck, only one person had lined up before I got there. Coincidentally, he was one of the people who missed out on the Radio Shack sale. So, we shared in our sad story of loss, but rallied our hopes for the future of Office place as we shared in yesterday's paper, which happened to be available. Not too long after I had marked my territory in line, some other fellows joined us. It was a close race to the line; people kept coming. I guess I had luckily stumbled upon a great place in line for a great deal on a laptop. For a grueling hour, we huddled and shared stories of Thanksgiving feasts, sleeping, and failure at other stores. Minute after Minute passed. Each one of us getting colder, more desperate, and a little shrewd. Finally, just when we were about to lose our humanity, the doors sprung open. My legs failed me from the atrophy of standing in such a staggering line. I shook my head to wake myself up and made a B line for the laptop display. Like Charlie with the golden ticket, I was granted a gloriously red square of paper with a bar code on it. I was confused, but an employee told me that it represents the very item I had been striving for. As Hiro Yakamura would say, "Yata!" I finally came out on top. Hurrying over to the checkout, I bought the computer and left. By that time, the sun had well risen. It had dawned on a day that will see much loss and much rejoicing. Some of us will indeed act as people we would never think we would become; an uglier version of ourselves. Others will be there to see it all and to tell tales of waiting in line for hours and primitive brawls in toy stores. I am fortunate enough to live through it all and be able to tell the stories to my grandchildren. The tales of Black Friday.

Half off socks--what more joy could be had

Over joyed at the awesome deal I got on a shirt. I never thought I could ever be so happy.

Waiting amid other sly characters. I suspect every one of you.

Triumphant